Batman's Newest Apprentice
by Puppet String
Summary: Bruce has made room in his home for two orphan boys so far-Tim and Dick- as well as Barbera, who's father works a lot, but now he's found his newest project: An orphan girl by the dumpster. Find out if she can prove she's up to the task, or if her disabilities prevent her from becoming a hero! Rated for STRONG language. Formerly titled 'Batman's Newest Orphan Project.'
1. You'll Fit Right In!

Bruce Wayne and his newer partner, Tim, sat in a stuffy, dark room full of wealthy entrepreneurs and business owners.

"Welcome to the charity bake sale for Gotham General Hospital! I am sure that you're all well aware that the hospital needs new equipment, more nurses, and more extra blankets. This bake sale will help fund us for these things!"

Tim rolled his eyes.

"Bruce, this sucks! Can we buy shit and leave soon?"

Bruce looked firmly at Tim.

"Tim, it's for charity. Besides, he has to be done sooner or later. And don't swear in public-it's distasteful."

The man continued talking for about fifteen more minutes before finishing with a pleasant smile and shouting, "Now, feel free to look around the sale for anything that catches your eye! We have cookies, pies, cakes, muffins, cupcakes, crepes-"

The woman in front of Bruce and Tim raised her hand.

"Excuse me! Crepes aren't baked. Why are they at the bake sale?"

The man looked surprised for a moment, but simply answered, "Well...Bake sale is a general way of us saying we've prepared foods-mostly sweet foods- to sell and raise money."

"Well, then, you should call it a sweets sale!" The woman called irritably.

"Madam, Bake Sale is more commonly recognized, so we decided to use-"

A man in the front stood up. "NOBODY CARES, LADY. JUST BUY SOMETHING!"

He stormed off to the pies and many other people soon followed, leaving the woman's useless point behond and swarming over to the many tables of delicious treats.

Bruce stood and headed toward the muffins, followed closely by Tim.

"Now, Alfred likes Poppy Seed muffins...I prefer coconut ...Tim, what kind of muffin do you want?"

"Blueberry." Tim told him, thinking of the sweet, flaky muffins and the soft, juicy berries within.

"Sounds good." Bruce bought ten of each type of muffin, knowing that most of them probably wouldn't be finished. After all, Batman had little time for muffin breaks. Still, it was for the sick people.

Bruce proceeded to purchase three lemon meringue pies, a German chocolate cake, two plates of chocolate chip cookies, and box of donuts.

Tim was pleased with the selection, and more than happily helped Bruce carry them to the car, where Alfred was waiting.

"How was the bake sale, Master Bruce? Did you enjoy yourself, Master Tim?"

Tim grinned. "Once the announcer stopped talking and the fat lady in front of us lost her point about crepes!"

Alfred raised an eyebrow once Tim reached the part about a fat lady and crepes, and Bruce frowned. "I'll explain on the way."

Alfred drove off carefully, listening to the story while still watching traffic and trying to keep from tipping over the boxes of sweets.

The day was coming to an end, and a few dead trees were silhouetted in what little sunlight manage to break through the clouds.

Alfred turned around a corner in the city, and Tim watched the buildings go by lazily. Suddenly, he caught sight of a small girl curled up in the snow next to a large, blue dumpster at the end of an alley. She was wearing a thin sweat shirt and was covered partially by snow-obviously not well equipped for the frosty, ruthless night to come.

"Bruce! Look!" Tim pointed at the girl as they passed.

"Is that what I think it is?" Bruce asked, squinting.

"If you mean a freezing little girl next to a dumpster with no adults in sight, then yes." Tim told him, looking out the back window toward the alley.

"ALFRED, STOP THE CAR!" Bruce shouted, causing Alfred to slam on the breaks.

"My word! What's wrong, Master Bruce?"

Bruce didn't respond. He just hopped out of the car, Tim hot on his heels, and ran down the alley.

He shook the girl, and she flailed weakly.

"Get off!" She yelled, her voice drown out by the wind, "I'll yell rape!"

Tim frowned. "Don't you have anyplace to go?"

The girl scrunched up smaller, shaking her head. "No. My parents were killed in a bank robbery a few days ago. I've been staying warm in the dumpster, but they locked it tonight. I have no extended family to go to, and-"

Bruce withdrew his hand, realizing how filthy the girl's clothes must have been.

"You mean you're an orphan with no place to go and your parents were killed by a criminal?"

The girl nodded, tears forming in her eyes.

"Excellent! You'll fit right in!" He took her hand and practically dragged her back to the limousine. "Get in-I'm Bruce Wayne and this is Tim."

The girl struggled to break free. "I'M NOT GETTING INTO A CAR WITH A STRANGER!"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "It's fine-I'm BRUCE WAYNE!"

Tim groaned. "Bruce, you're doing it wrong! he thinks she's being kidnapped!"

Bruce thought for a moment. "Kidnappers usually use white vans," He explained, "This is a black limousine."

The girl eyed the car suspiciously. "I think I saw you on T.V. once...Are you sure you can't just drive me to the police station?"

Tim shook his head. "Nope, sorry. Besides, there's a fat cop there who'd probably cause trouble anyway."

The girl sighed, but couldn't resist the prospect of a warm car any longer. She climbed in tentatively, but Tim shoved her over so that he would have room. Bruce followed them, sitting on the other side.

"So, kid, what did you say your name was?" Tim asked, offering his hand.

"I didn't," She told him, "But it's Jenna." She shook his hand tentatively, and jumpped when Alfred spoke.

"And who would this be, Master Bruce?"

"An orphan Tim spotted by the dumpster. She says her name is Jenna."

"To the Police Station?"

"No-home."

Tim grinned. "You'll love it there-trust me! It gets better."

Jenna frowned. "I can't wait..." She told him sarcastically. "First into a stranger's car and next into his house. Wouldn't Mom and Dad be proud?"

She faced out the window quietly, and Tim could tell she was crying. She could do it quietly, but she couldn't hide the jerks in her shoulders as she sobbed soundlessly.

Tim decided not to say anything, and Bruce broke out the doughnuts.

"Care for one?" He offered, holding the open box out.

"I really shouldn't take sweets from a stranger..." Jenna told him nervously, though her stomach begged to differ.

Tim grabbed a chocolate doughnut and took a bite. "They're fine-just take a doughnut."

"They're from the Hospital Bake Sale," Tim told her, "They wouldn't mess with the food."

Jenna still looked unsure. "What if trace amounts of some sort of highly contagious illness got on them? They're from a hospital, after all."

Tim frowned, losing his patience. "Just take a fucking doughnut! Sheesh, you're pessimistic."

Jenna gave up arguing and took a small glazed one, eating it slowly and savoring the first real food she'd had in two days.

"Thank you," She mumbled, feeling embarrassed. She realized that these men weren't trying to hurt her-if they were, they'd have done it by now.

"No problem," Tim told her, his smile returning, "Bruce did the same for me when I lost my dad. He lost his parents when he was young, too."

"Man, Gotham's a bad town to be a parent in," Jenna reflected, thinking of several stories she'd seen on the news, "But at least it's not like Metropalas- I heard that they have aliens and super villans there!"

Tim thought for a moment. "You're right- Gotham is a fucking terrible place to be a parent!"

Bruce frowned. "Stop saying the 'f' word- you're in front of a new girl."

"But a car isn't public," Tim argued, "It should be okay to swear in!"

Bruce took this in to consideration and finally nodded. "You're right. Swear all you want! That goes for you, too, Jenna."

* * *

This story is for my own entertainment. xD I couldn't resist posting it up.


	2. Goodnight!

Jenna gawked at the inside of the mansion.

"HOW DO YOU FIND THE BATHROOM AT NIGHT?"

Tim and Bruce exchanged a glance.

"You get used to it." Bruce told her quickly.

"Have a muffin! We've got blueberry!" Tim added, holding out the box of blueberry muffins.

"Alfred, one box is for you. Eat them at leisure- we've got too many sweets in the house."

The old butler looked surprised.

"For me? Thank you, Master Bruce."

Bruce just shrugged.

"You work hard. Besides-it's for the terminally ill, the wounded, the people fresh out of surgery, the-"

Tim rolled his eyes.

"It's for the people at the hospital."

Jenna rubbed her arm.

"Er...Speaking of hospitals, I haven't had my medicine in days."

Bruce raised his eyebrow.

"Medicine?"

The girl nodded.

"I take enalapril and baby asprin. I've got a heart defect and-"

Bruce nodded.

"I'll get your health forms once I sign the adoption papers tomorrow. For now, I'm afraid have work to do. Tim can show you around."

With that, he left, headed for his office.

"Good day, children." Alfred dismissed himself before turning and walking to the kitchen. "I'm going to start on dinner. Don't wander too far." The old butler gave Tim a glance, and the boy gave a tiny, understanding nod. With that, Alfred left them standing by the stairs.

"Come on," Tim took Jenna's hand, "I'll show you where your room and the bathroom are!"

He started up the stairs, half-dragging Jenna.

"Wait up!" She yelped, nearly tripping over her own feet."

"Oh...Sorry. I guess you're not used to running up the stairs, huh?"

He walked up a few stairs ahead. When both of them had reached the top, Tim turned left and started down a long, dimly lit hallway.

He soon noticed that Jenna wasn't following, and crossed hid arms.

"What's wrong? Afraid of the dark?"

Jenna frowned.

"No! I just don't know what's hiding down there." Realizing that this could be taken as accusational, she added, "Like a guard dog. If you've got a dog and it isn't used to unfamiliar people, I don't want it to bite me."

Tim nodded, uncrossing his arms.

"We don't have a dog. There's nothing to worry about-come on!"

Jenna nodded, tentatively shuffling forward and glaring through the darkness.

Tim was quiet for a moment, walking silently down the long hallway before turning back toward Jenna to speak.

"So, you have a heart defect?"

The girl nodded.

"Tricuspid atresia."

"English, please."

"I've basically got half a real heart and the other half's a tube."

"Does it hurt?"

"No."

"Can you still run?"

"Not for as long as everybody else."

"That sounds crappy."

"Yep, sometimes."

"Oh."

"How about you? Any health issues?"

"Nope-I've got a clean bill of health."

"Don't wave it around- clean things get dirty fast."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't fall down the stairs."

"How does that even-"

"LOOK, A SNAIL!"

Tim looked, but saw nothing.

"There's no-"

"Got you. Anyway, what do you do all day?"

Tim shrugged.

"Martial arts, fencing, swimming..."

Jenna looked impressed.

"Can you break someone's nose?"

"Sure can!"

"Would you recommend punching up or sideways?"

"Punching up to break it can kill-it can lodge their nose in their brain, so I'd say-"

"UP IT IS!"

"But that could-"

"Hey, if an attacker is dead, they can't kill you."

Tim thought for a moment.

"Can you even reach someone's nose? I mean, you're pretty short...How old are you, anyway? Nine?"

"No! I'm fifteen!"

Tim was shocked.

"But you're like four feet tall!"

"FIVE feet tall, and a quarter of an inch. That's pretty tall."

"No, it's not. I'm five four and still growing."

"Oh yeah? How old are you? Ten?"

"Sixteen."

"No wonder you're taller-you're older!"

"But only by a year."

"A year makes a huge difference."

"How?"

"Four inches is a large difference."

"Here's the bathroom." Tim told her, gesturing to a door and changing the subject.

Jenna looked inside. It was a large, white room with tiles. A tub with a shower-head was tucked into the wall on her left, the toilet dead ahead, and a sink on her right.

"Cool!" She squeaked, noticing that the facility was surprisingly clean for a house full of males. "I bet you could fit an aardvark in the bathtub!"

"What the hell is an aardvark?"

"An ant eater."

"Those aren't so big."

"SCREW YOU."

"Come on, your room's down the hall."

He led her two more doors down and then opened the third, revealing a large, beautiful bedroom. A huge window hung at the end, open to the moonlight.

"I get to sleep in here?" She asked, looking around. The bed would fit four of her, at least. The moonlight illuminated the room, casting shadows and making the polished surfaces gleam.

"Yep. The bathroom's just a couple doors down, so you won't get lost. If you aren't down for breakfast by nine thirty, Alfred will get you in case you're lost."

"I won't get lost! The stairway is right down there!"

"You'd be surprised."

Jenna frowned. '_What's that supposed to mean? Does he think I can't remember stairs just because I'm slow at climbing them?_'

Before she could voice her protest, Tim turned and took the doorknob.

"Goodnight!" He called before slamming the door.

The room suddenly seemed darker. She shadows more menacing. The bed big enough for someone-or omething-to hide under.

'_Fuck! You could fit lots of scary things down there!_'

After a moment of consideration, she smirked.

'_Well, best it be me rather than a monster._'

Jenna grabbed a blanket and a pillow before climbing under the bed and turning to face the window, where she could peak out at the moonlight.

'_How pretty_!'

She watched the moon for a few minutes, then started to doze off.

All ideas of sleep fled Jenna's mind as a bump sounded through the night...And the sound of a very powerful engine starting up.


	3. A Car in the House

"TIIIIIIM!" Jenna screeched, bolting from her room. "THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE HOUSE! SOMEONE DROVE A CAR INTO THE HOUSE!"

She slid down the stair rail flying off and hitting her head. She stumbled around for a moment before reaching the old Grandfather clock, and falling into it.

"Thank God that's there! I'm dizzy and-"

The grandfather clock suddenly moved, leaving the dazed girl nothing to lean on. She fell down a long, twisting stairway, feeling herself bruise her skin break and tear until she reached the bottom, where she slipped into unconsciousness.

When she awoke, Batman was standing over her.

"BATMAN DROVE A CAR INTO THE HOUSE!" She wailed desperately. "I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND BATMAN'S BROKEN IN! BRUCE! ALFRED! TIM!"

Alfred stepped forward.

"She looks just fine to me."

Jenna could feel blood trickling down from her nose, both knees, her right shoulder, and a huge gash above her eyebrow.

"Alfred-where are Tim and Bruce? Did they invite Batman for dinner? He drove a car into the house! I heard it!"

Batman frowned.

"It's no use, Alfred. She knows."

"Know what, Batman?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT. YOU KNOW MY TRUE IDENTITY, CHILD, SO USE IT!"

"Er..."

Jenna was uncomfortable. She had no idea what they were talking about and she needed medical attention.

Robbin frowned.

"I don't think she knows, Batman."

"DAMMIT, TIM, SHE KNOWS!"

"TIM?! What the fuck? Tim, why are you dressed up as Robin? Why'd you drive a car into the house?"

"It's the Bat Mobile. It belongs down here in the Bat Cave."

"Does that mean that Bruce is-"

"Batman? Yep."

"Well...This is awkward."

Bruce grinned.

"READY TO BECOME A SUPERHERO, CHILD?"

"No! I need to go to the hospital! Please, I'm bleeding and I think I fractured-"

"TOO BAD."

Bruce dragged the girl deeper into the Bat Cave until she saw a stand full of costumes.

"What the...?"

"We keep them here."

"How do you change?"

"Very quickly. Here's yours."

Batman handed her a small suit, a little yellow belt, and a pair of boots with little bat heads and wings sewn onto the toe.

"But...But...This costume looks ridiculous! There's not even a mask!"

Bruce frowned. "I almost forgot! CLOSE YOUR EYES."

Jenna snapped her eyes shut. She felt something placed over her head and something tied around her eyes. When she opened them, she saw a full-length mirror reflecting her look of humiliation.

A plush, smiling bat-themed helmet sat on her head, helping to secure a mask that was way too big into position.

"Criminals won't take anyone seriously in this! They'll think of all sorts of stupid nicknames!"

Tim shrugged.

"You get used to it."

Bruce grinned madly.

"TIME TO FIGHT CRIME! FOLLOW ME, YOUNG DEFENDERS OF JUSTICE!"

Jenna flailed desperately as Bruce seized her wrist and dragged her to the Bat Mobile.

"I don't even know how to fight!"

Tim grinned.

"Throw random things you find in your belt 'till you find a good weapon for yourself. There's teargas, tazers, liquid nitrogen capsules, and so many more wonderful little things to throw at living people!"

Jenna shook violently.

"I WANT TO GO HOME!" She wailed.

Batman glanced back.

"Don't worry- Patrol only lasts until dawn, then we can go back home."

"I meant to my real home-with my parents!"

"Bruce is your father now."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Fuck you!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP OR SO HELP ME I'LL TURN THIS BAT MOBILE AROUND!"

"Please do! I don't want to be a hero!"

"Nevermind, then. We'll keep going."

Jenna hung her head in defeat.

"One more thing, Jenna..."

Jenna glared icily at Tim.

"You need a crime-fighting name."


	4. The Double Cross

Jenna shook her head.

"No, I don't! I _need_ medical attention and I _need_ to go home and I _need_ to turn back time so that I never met you and so my parents were never shot! You're crazy-both of you!" She paused for a moment, trembling angrily. "Look at me. I'm short, disabled, and wearing some stupid costume with two guys I hardly know about to go fight random criminals-who, by the way, have guns, most likely-and be some sort of vigilante against the law. I can't do this."

Bruce turned around.

"That's the spirit!" The vehicle stopped, and the window slid off. "Now, come fight the Joker with us!" Without giving her an opportunity to protest, Bruce grabbed her arm and hauled her out of the bat mobile. Tim pit his finger to his lips, then made a motion of shooting and pointed at the building.

'_They have guns! I want to go home!_' Jenna's heart pounded desperately as Bruce shoved her through a window.

As soon as she landed, she regretted it. The room was full of tall, scary guys who looked like everything from mimes to jesters to clowns, and in the center the Joker himself sat with Harley Quinn by his side.

"What's this we have here?" He asked, his grin never fading, "A trick-or-treater? Sorry, kid, wrong season. Still, a trick wouldn't be too bad! Harley, care to take care of her?"

Harley hopped up and skipped over. "Sure thing, Mr. J!"

Batman and Robin leapt through the window.

"JOKER!" Batman roared angrily, reaching into his belt, "LET'S DANCE!"

The Joker grinned. "Sorry, Batsy, I've got two left feet. See?" He pointed down at his shoes, which were both fit for a left foot, and shrugged. "Try asking Chuckles and Mirth-they like dancing!"

With that, the creepy old man ran out, leaving his minions to fight.

"Please!" Jenna yelped, "I just want to go home!"

Harley put her hands on her hips.

"Oh, boo! You're no fun. A new face and you don't even like to play!"

She leaned over to look Jenna in the eye.

"Kinda' short, though. If you don't like to play, we might as well enjoy the show!"

She grabbed Jenna and threw her down in a small, pink plastic chair, buckling her in.

"There! We wouldn't want the little one to fall out of her car seat!"

Harley then took a seat in a larger, broken-looking arm chair beside her.

Jenna struggled in vain, unable to get her wrists free.

"Help!" She wailed, "Everyone's mad here!"

Harley grinned.

"What's the fun in being sane, kid? Hey-what's your name, anyway?"

Jenna was silent. She had no superhero name and she sure as hell wasn't using her real one.

"THEY HAVEN'T NAMED ME YET. PLEASE, LET ME GO SO I CAN LEAVE! They won't let me leave. They're crazy! I fell down the stairs and they put me in this costume and threw me in the back of the bat mobile!"

Harley looked surprised, but only for a moment.

"That's fine, I'll name you, kiddo! Let's see..."

She thought for a moment.

"Well, you're tiny, covered in small plush toys, and being shoved into a battle for no apparent reason. I'll call you Toy Soldier!"

Jenna flailed around again.

"PLEASE HELP ME-DON'T NAME ME!"

Harley crossed her arms.

"Say please, Toy Soldier!"

"_Please,_ let me go!"

Herley grinned.

"That's better. I'll let you go just once because I want to play again later!"

She unbound Jenna, watching as the small girl hurried back out the window.

After a moment, she followed.

Jenna slammed into the bat mobile's wind shield, screaming.

"Let me in! I want to go home!"

'Voice recognized.' A small green light flashed, then the windshield slid back so that Jenna could hop in.

Before the girl could try the gas, Harley hopped in.

"Hold it, Toy Soldier! No bailing without me."

Jenna groaned.

"Whatever it takes for me to get out of this horrible town and find a new place to live with a foster family!"

Harley covered her mouth and gasped.

"You're an orphan? Mr.J and I have been considering a new addition! Follow me!"

Jenna screamed as her wrist was seized.

"Please, I hate Gotham!"

"So do we!"

"Let me go!"

"That was a once-only thing, remember?"

"HELP ME, PLEASE! SOMEBODY!"

"I am, silly! Come on, Mr.J will love you!"


	5. Hyenas

Jenna's attempts to break free were futile. Harley hauled her back into the building and right up the the Clown Prince of Chaos himself, the Joker.

"Harley, I thought you were taking care of this." Joker's voice had an edge to it that Jenna didn't like.

"She's an orphan!" Harley explained excitedly, "And she hates Gotham, too! WE SHOULD ADOPT HER!"

Jenna shook her head violently.

"I don't want to! It was bad enough riding in the Bat Mobile- I don't want to end up being chased by it! Please, please, please just let me go to the orphanage and live with all the other miserable kids!"

The Joker looked interested.

"You don't want to stay here?"

Jenna shook her head.

"I don't want to stay here, I don't want to go back with Batman and Robin, and I don't want to be a superhero! I don't even want to see another superhero ever again until the day I die- hopefully not today!"

Joker was convinced.

"Perfect, you hate them as much as Harley and I. Welcome to the family- eh...What was your name again?"

Harley clapped.

"I called her the Toy Soldier! She hadn't been named yet!"

Jenna was too shocked to speak.

She wanted to go home.

Or rather, to the orphanage.

She wanted to get out of there. She didn't want to live with any more psychopaths.

"Oh, look! She's too excited to speak, Harls. Now, get her out of here and show her where she'll be sleeping. Oh, and be careful when you introduce her to the you-know-whats."

Jenna began shaking. That didn't sound good at all.

"Oh, Puddin', they'd never attack family!"

Harley dragged Jenna out of the room and through the maze-like warehouse until she kicked open a door. There, two hyenas waited. At the sight of the newcomer, they both leaped up, snapping and snarling viciously.

"HEY, QUIT IT! DOWN, BOYS! DOWN! I SAID DOWN, DARNIT!" Harley screamed, calling the two beasts off.

"There, that's better. Now, boys, meet your new sister- Toy Soldier! COME SAY HELLO!"

Jenna covered her face with her arms as the two hyenas tackled her to the ground, wagging their tails. They licked her face, but also snuck in a couple of nips at her wrists whenever they didn't think Harley would catch it.

"Toy Soldier, you'll be sleeping with these two! They're awful sweet, just like my Puddin'!"

Jenna groaned.

'_It's official. I'm going to die. I hate everything._'

She followed the hyenas over to a dirty pile of blankets and sat down next to them, doing her best to ignore them whenever they bit her hand or leg.

Suddenly, she heard Batman's voice in her helmet.

'Do you read me? Again, do you read me? This is Batman-'

Jenna flipped out.

"I'M SCHIZOPHRENIC NOW! THE VOICE IS TALKING TO ME!"

Harley grinned.

"That's nice, dear, now be good! I gotta go help Daddy deal with the intruders!"

She slammed the door behind her.

'DAMMIT, STAY QUIET. Where are you?'

Jenna looked around.

"I don't know, head voice. What do you want?"

'I'm speaking to you through your helmet communicator, dammit. Sit tight. We'll be there to rescue you soon. I'll track you.'

"If you can do that, why did you ask me where I was?"

'Just curious if you knew or not. Now, shut up and try not to let the Joker know you're on our side!'

"I'M NOT ON YOUR SIDE. I'M NOT ON HIS SIDE. I'M ON NOBODY'S SIDE. I'M NEUTRAL. LIKE A GOLDFISH."

'Goldfish are good. Now, stop being hungry and wait for further instruction!'

"I never said I was-"

'SHHH. THEY'LL HEAR YOU.'


End file.
